It must be that simple.

The raw-ness of raw evenings,

And all the things you can’t say,

The utter pointless, swerve of

A future that is as stupid and undecided as you,

And the bombs will come and the children will die

And the images and films will be the same;

But there is never a reason.

It must be that simple.

It must be that simple

The greater good.

I always wonder what would happen if

The people who crowd the streets with

Such moral indignation,

And the obvious lick of the good and the true,

Were given their way,

Would utopia dawn, would a world of

Complete peace be the answer,

The completion of the dialectic?

No, but the point is the action

The pointless, heroic failure

Getting to the truth is not the goal

Knowing it won’t happen, that is the function.

The real reason for the horror is never

Defined and is probably dull and banal.

The conspiracy:

we live for the mystery

And the things they don’t say

Are the things in ourselves we don’t want to know.

So march March on, but know

You are walking away from the Real.

London Park

I sit in the park

Because I know you

Can’t see me here

I left you with the

Dirty plates and spent wrappers

The people here are mere

Actors in my game

Waddling around the park

Unaware of their destiny

Keep on Lying Baby!

There’s a lot to be said for lying down or indeed reclining, especially in bed; and this is what I have been doing for the last 2 – 3 weeks. Guess what? I feel great, authentic, a full blooded inhuman spirit (oxymoron intended mofo); ready to rage, oh yeah.

My job has gone, my girlfriend has gone*, and only now do I feel real (by real I include all the usual dispensations, ie real in terms of my experience through the Imaginary and Symbolic realms of my perception etc etc). The less I have, the more I feel at home within my offbeat, melancholic cranium; madness feels comforting somehow, rather than a threat.

Anyway, the normal set of circumstances is that a person goes somewhere to either sit or stand all day and stare at something (let’s call it work), and I can see how sitting or standing for short periods of time could be ok, but in terms of hierarchy I guess we could suggest something like this:

1.       Lying (supine/prone)

2.       Reclining/semi supine

3.       Sitting

4.       Standing

Unless you’re a vampire – there seem to be so many around at the moment – I presume that everyone sleeps lying down and what I want to propose is that instead of getting up then sitting or standing all day before coming back and lying down again, why not just stay either lying down or reclining, it cuts out the middle man, cheaper too.

Now I am being jocular of course as there are 2 rather large considerations that will somewhat thwart this utopian ideal I recommend:

1.       Your brain

2.       Money

One thing I have found about lying down and indeed any degree of doing nothing is that it is not that easy and not everyone can do it. Luckily for myself I am trained and so can withstand/enjoy it for extended periods of time.

You see the action of doing nothing/lying down is in fact hard work if you don’t know how. Your brain starts to think, invent inadequacy and guilt; to survive you must travel into the depths of your pointlessness, hold your head under its soapy surface, and say yes.

There is a fairly prevalent cliché, especially in the west that everyone would like to win the lottery and somehow be free from work or oppression; I would suggest that this is the last thing they want to happen; with no oppression there is no enemy and with no enemy you only have yourself to fight. Those demanding voices never go away, they are inside you, better you pretend they come from somewhere else (that twat of a boss, the stupid government, the ignorant lover). To truly be able to lie down you must be able to punch yourself and laugh, and be cleansed by its horror.

Don’t invent enemies, protests, petty injustices, simply start lying down, once you learn to breathe beyond the other side of your brain, there is far more to see.

All I will say about money is if you are worried about it you are too far into the system to be helped, you have a lack of imagination and too much stuff to upkeep (‘yes but I’ve got a mortgage to pay for and kids and...’ please leave me alone).

Basically I have been and will continue to lie down until my madness is all of my reality and the real world has shrunk into a loveable but clumsy puppy that chases its own tail (how cute).

Urg, yes, urg, yes, urh, yes (sorry that’s just me punching myself).

Lie don't lie.

MG

*Piekna is very much still around and in close proximity.

Freedom

There's a freedom somewhere that needs an invitation to my soul, because at present there is nothing, an empty bowl, a room bereft of guests; even silence stays away. Tonight I'm not drunk, but the words are stuck regardless; there's no one to tell you how to live but that voice inside which belongs to someone else and laughs at your actions when your back is turned. So it carries on, I carry on, sleep, wake, boredom, lethargy, sleep, wake, boredom, lethargy, sleep... Yes folks, I've learnt an important lesson, I'm now one of you and I know why you're scared, I know why you do it, why you showed such awe when I used to announce my bohemian status at parties before the change occurred. I know, but I still feel the disgust, for you fear losing something, letting go to the thing that you will never get back. 'I would but, but, but...money, money, money', the joke is that thing you are so scared of losing or leaving behind, is something you don't have anyway, you cling to nothing; pleasure awaits and that scares you more than the trudge through your lonely days, your moaning, your petty annoyances are the stilts that hold your world in place, so live on my friends, keep balancing on those struts because I'm there with you for now.  Will I be there for long? who knows, but there is a scream within me that says not much longer, but maybe you are the same.

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother..."

How to escape, this is my question? I feel the fear, but I know, above all else, I must break out.